TURNING TABLES

How could this happen on my watch? If only I was a psychic! 

Ok scratch that. I am just being a drama queen.

Was I not good enough? Was it my morning breath? Or did I fart in my sleep? My constant nagging for attention?

I just couldn’t figure out why he would cheat on me, yeah I said it. He cheated on me. But why?

 

As I sit here, a thousand and one things running through my mind, 26 young and vibrant, killer body, a thriving career, Beautiful and all that.

 

January 2014 and am single. What sort of bad luck is this nah. How did I let this happen?

 

With tears mingled with sweat streaming down my cheek,Adele’s “turning tables” playing in the background, I replay the last 2years of my life and those memories only made me want to tear my heart out. I turn the music player off and head to my kitchen to fix myself a hot cup of chocolate in my pink pajamas that has cute bunnies all over it(heart break attire).

I will get over it, I usually do. But how long will it continue?

 

Ngozi,chidinma,monica and queen all got married last year (2013), I was everyone’s maid of honor. And I never even caught the bouquet when it was thrown sef, not even one.

 

Reality calls me now and I must answer, Desperation has never been known to bring forth any results, I would rather go back and rehash this unfortunate event that has plagued all my relationships.

 

I can’t call all men dogs, cause I haven’t slept with all and I sure won’t cause I love my sanity. I choose to respect myself and deal with me first, all this emotional baggage I am carrying might be the reason it happened to me, or the fact that I continue to fall for looks,money rather than virtues and stability.

 

Whichever way, I won’t forget to remember the creator, and give him a piece of my mind. I am not religious or anything, I just want to crave for him other than the senseless craze for chocolate, sex and money.

 

I know you are thinking, what if a guy comes now? Well he now has to pass thru a secure channel to get to my heart, cause I no longer have it.

 

Till then, I wish to continue loving me. Dates are always welcome, once in a while I hope to go out with a gentleman and be wowed and treated like a lady.

 

Lastly for all ladies, deal with your insecurities, lies, hurt, and all those emotional trash that you carry. Or you will only attract men who are on revenge missions or cassanova’s with no other agenda than to hit that spot. Because I will pray so hard that God keep all the good men from you all, yes I will.

 

P.S Constant need for attention only makes you feel unworthy, Hereby making your loved one feel obligated to give you what you crave. Its temporal and like a drug you will be back for more. Draining him/her emotionally. Love your self honey.

I will write again soon. Till then live each day like your life depended on it.

 

Happy new year.

 

With love

Anonymous.